i'm old and don't understand tumblr
Stephen Tully Dierks is a Serial Rapist

sarahjeanalex:

About a month ago, Sophia Katz told me she was raped by a former friend and roommate of mine when she visited New York this past May. Yesterday, she published a piece chronicling the sexual abuse she experienced that week, using a pseudonym for her rapist. I shared the piece on multiple platforms and commended her bravery. I said, “This is very important, everyone should read this.” I said “We need to protect and support rape victims, defend young girls in the indie lit community against predatorial, privileged men.” Other people liked the post, shared it, added more supportive comments. But by the end of the day, there was no further discussion about it. No one asked who he is, even though he is an editor within a community we all participate in.

And then I realized, I hadn’t either.

I had felt afraid of ‘starting that war’ against him. I realized that maybe people were afraid to ask who he was because they already knew. Maybe he was someone they considered a friend. Maybe identifying him as a rapist made them uncomfortable and sad. Maybe they didn’t believe it.

I lived with this person for a year. I listened to the way he spoke about his exgirlfriend after she broke up with him. I listened when he told me he “didn’t see the point of hanging out with any of his female friends” because at the end of the day he doesn’t get to fuck them. I pulled my piece from his magazine that he had solicited me for because I no longer wanted to support the career of a casual misogynist.

We shouldn’t be afraid to discuss this publicly when Sophia has been brave enough to call out her abuser in a community where he has immense support and friendship. Stephen Tully Dierks should not be shielded because he is or was our friend. We should hold our friends as accountable as we hold everyone else, if not more.

Stephen Tully Dierks is a rapist and that would ideally be at the top of the Google search results for his name.

floozys:

the most fucked up thing is that

emma watson

image

made

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one of the most

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men inclusive

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feminist speeches

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i’ve heard in the longest time, and the result? the result from these men who claim that they would be all for feminism if it weren’t for all “the man…

the-exercist:

cardio-and-calculus:

the-exercist:

complexmindsimpleheart:

the-exercist:

Fitness magazines don’t help us get fit. Gazing at images of caricatured breasts, buttocks and biceps gives you the impression this is how a fit body should look, that every fit body needs to be shaped in the same vein. Fitness magazines use exactly these images to “inspire” women to look this way. Yet most of us can’t identify with what we are looking at because we don’t believe ordinary us could ever be them. 

[…] What are we teaching our young women who want desperately to believe that they too can be as ripped and shredded? They don’t realize what it takes to look so tight. They want to be there and harm themselves to reach an almost unattainable ideal. When will it be acceptable to lift heavy, building confidence and brainpower while strengthening your body, not concerning yourself with how cute your bottom looks in booty shorts?

[…] Being fit in a functional rather than sexual way means you are entirely capable of being powerful no matter what your height, bust size, shoe size or hair color. You are empowered from the depths of your DNA because you did the work, you earned your place and you walk confidently because of it. A functionally fit You welcomes all sizes, shapes and colors, your boobs and butt are incidental. What we really need to build in the gym is a sense of self and what we are capable of.

!!! But add boys/men

No.

We’re talking about women right now. 

Or we can talk about everybody because there’s an unrealistic expectation for men as well as women

A word to everyone who reblogs posts with responses like the above:

If you actually cared about men’s issues, you wouldn’t tack them on as an afterthought to a woman’s conversation: You’d instead be actively engaging in dialogues that explore the nuances of men’s problems in society. You wouldn’t simply wait until a woman is speaking and then shout “Yeah, men too!” You’d talk about these things independently and give men the attention that they deserve as individuals, instead of waiting for a woman to do the work, shouldering her aside and then insisting that men be given a spot on the stage too. 

If you actually cared about women’s issues, you wouldn’t demand that they give up their space. You’d recognize that conversations by women and about women are perfectly valid. When a woman is talking about her personal experiences and the way social pressures have affected her life, you wouldn’t allow her to be interrupted or derailed. You wouldn’t actively talk over her or steal away attention, focusing on issues that are outside of her point, until the conversation drifts so far away that you aren’t even discussing women anymore. 

So both now and in the future, my answer here is going to remain the same: Can we talk about everyone?

No.

We’re still talking about women right now. 

"Women are the niggers of gender," the email said. "If you killed yourself, I wouldn’t even fuck the corpse."

I blinked at my phone, fighting simultaneous urges to hurl my phone across the room in anger and cry. Later that day, someone texted me my address — telling me they’d “See me when I least expected it.”

I haven’t been out to my car at night by myself since January 2nd.

My name is Brianna Wu. I lead a development studio that makes games. Sometimes, I write about issues in the games industry that relate to the equality of women. My reward is that I regularly have men threatening to rape and commit acts of violence against me.

No skin thick enough: The daily harassment of women in the game industry | Polygon (via brutereason)

That is terrible and heart breaking on so many levels

(via starcunning)

A lot of comments from probably white people saying that I shouldn’t have described Darren Wilson as “white” and Michael Brown as “black” in my column today. That this is about cops abusing humans, and I shouldn’t be making it out like it’s a racial issue. That, more than anything, it’s…

mrdestructo:

And he just sort of lurks in the corner for a while, trying not to be obvious about the fact that he’s interrupting a party or whatever, but being really obvious about it anyway, and finally he’s like:

"Hey, I need a favor."

And he says it all portentous, like it’s so important that he’s going…

saturdaychores:

Saturday Chores #6, July 5, 2014
This sign was all Grayson’s idea. I couldn’t stop laughing.

saturdaychores:

Saturday Chores #6, July 5, 2014

This sign was all Grayson’s idea. I couldn’t stop laughing.

Brittany, 28, Colorado

I was 21 when a routine physical showed that I was pregnant. I fainted when I found out. I was on the Depo-Provera shot and in a committed relationship. I was also going to college, working full time and decided to end the pregnancy. I wasn’t ready physically, emotionally or financially to be a parent. I spoke to a woman at the clinic who asked if I needed an escort from my car on the day of my appointment. My aunt and best friend were accompanying me, so I said no. But then she told me to call if I was having trouble. I asked, “Why?” She paused and said, “Just please call if you are having any issues.”

I was the first appointment that day and noticed a few men, all in their 50s or 60s, milling around the parking lot when we pulled in. Once we got out of the car, one made a beeline for us with a fistful of pamphlets. My aunt said, “Thanks, but no thanks,” and he got irate, screaming, “How can you do this? You’re killing your baby to continue on your whore lifestyle, you jezebel!’ Suddenly we were surrounded by five other men — that’s when the baby-doll parts starting hitting us.

They had a box filled with torn apart baby dolls covered with red paint. All three of us were hit — in the head, chest, torso. As they were pelting us, they yelled, “This is what you’re doing to your baby! Look at the street! It’s strewn with the blood of your baby. That’s your baby scattered across the street!” It was surreal and terrifying at once. And we still had to cross a wide street to enter the clinic. Then they shouted at my aunt, “Grandma, why are you letting her do this? Tell her to give her baby up for adoption!” My aunt responded, “First of all, I’m not old enough to be a grandma. Second, come talk to me when you have a uterus and a vagina.”

I thought I’d feel better once inside the clinic. But as I sat in the waiting area, I could hear every single girl get out of her car and do that walk of shame. That was the worst part of the day. When the doctor pulled up later that morning, there was such a frenzy the building almost shook. I heard them shouting, “Murderer!” and “Butcher!” and my heart started racing all over again.

I was the first to see the doctor. After he went over the procedure with me, he asked, “Do you have any questions?” I said, “Are they going to be there when I leave? — not, “Is there any pain?” or “How long will it take to recover?” He said, “No. After I arrive, they disperse.” That was true, and I was grateful. I would have stayed until they left. I couldn’t go through that again.

But there was one good thing the protesters did that morning: They convinced me I was making the right decision. I bet every single woman inside that waiting room felt the same way, even though none of us spoke. We’d all just been through the most heinous experience, but there was a feeling of quiet satisfaction among this group of women amidst the horror. I thought, “If I can make it through that, I can make it through the rest of this day.”

sorayachemaly:

10 Simple Words Every Girl Should Learn
These behaviors, the interrupting and the over-talking, also happen as the result of difference in status, but gender rules.
It’s not hard to fathom why so many men tend to assume they are great and that what they have to say is more legitimate. It starts in childhood and never ends. Parents interrupt girls twice as often and hold them to stricter politeness norms. Teachers engage boys, who correctly see disruptive speech as a marker of dominant masculinity, more often and more dynamically than girls.
For example, male doctors invariably interrupt patients when they speak, especially female patients but patients rarely interrupt doctors in return. Unless the doctor is a woman. When that is the case, she interrupts far less and is herself interrupted more.
This is also true of senior managers in the workplace. Male bosses are not frequently talked over or stopped by those working for them, especially if they are women; however, female bosses are routinely interrupted by their male subordinates.
As adults, women’s speech is granted less authority. We aren’t thought of as able critics or as funny.
Men speak more, more often, and longer than women in mixed groups (classrooms, boardrooms, legislative bodies, expert media commentary and, for obvious reasons religious institutions.)
Indeed, in male-dominated problem solving groups including boards, committees, and legislatures, men speak 75% more than women, with negative effects on decisions reached. That’s why, as researchers summed up, “Having a seat at the table is not the same as having a voice.”
Even in movies and television, male actors engage in more disruptive speech and garner twice as much speaking and screen time as their female peers.
Listserve topics introduced by men have a much higher rate of response.
On Twitter, people retweet men two times as often as women.
The best part though is that we are socialized to think women talk more. Listener bias results in most people thinking that women are hogging the floor when men are actually dominating. Linguists have concluded that much of what is popularly understood about women and men being from different planets, verbally, confuses “women’s language” with “powerless language.”
This preference for what men have to say, supported by men and women both, is a variant on “mansplaining.” The word came out of an article by writer Rebecca Solnit, who explained that the tendency some men have to grant their own speech greater import than a perfectly competent woman’s is not a universal male trait, but the “intersection between overconfidence and cluelessness where some portion of that gender gets stuck.” Solnit’s tipping point experience really did take the cake. She was talking to a man at a cocktail party when he asked her what she did. She replied that she wrote books, and she described her most recent one, River of Shadows: Eadweard Muybridge and the Technological Wild West.The man interrupted her soon after she said the word Muybridge and asked, “And have you heard about the very important Muybridge book that came out this year?” He then waxed on, based on his reading of a review of the book, not even the book itself, until finally a friend said, “That’s her book.” He ignored that friend (also a woman) and she had to say it more than three times before “he went ashen” and walked away. If you are not a woman, ask any woman you know what this is like, because it is not fun and happens to all of us.
Last week as I sat in a cafe, a man in his 60′s stopped to ask me what I was writing. I told him, a book about gender and media and he said, “I went to a conference where someone talked about that a few years ago. I read a paper about it a few years ago. Did you know that car manufacturers use slightly denigrating images of women to sell cars? I’d be happy to help you.” After I suggested, smiling cheerily, that the images were beyond denigrating and definitively injurious to women’s dignity, free speech, and parity in culture he drifted off
In the wake of Larry Summers’ “women can’t do math” controversy several years ago, scientist Ben Barres wrote publicly about his experiences, first as a woman and later in life, as a male. As a female student at MIT, Barbara Barres was told by a professor after solving a particularly difficult math problem, “Your boyfriend must have solved it for you.” When several years after, as Ben Barres, he gave a well-received scientific speech, he overhead a member of the audience say, “His work is much better than his sister’s.”  Most notably, he concluded that one of the major benefits of being male was that he could now “even complete a whole sentence without being interrupted by a man.”
 Really, practice those ten words. 
“Stop interrupting me.” 
“I just said that.”
“No explanation needed.”
 
 

sorayachemaly:

10 Simple Words Every Girl Should Learn

These behaviors, the interrupting and the over-talking, also happen as the result of difference in status, but gender rules.

  • It’s not hard to fathom why so many men tend to assume they are great and that what they have to say is more legitimate. It starts in childhood and never ends. Parents interrupt girls twice as often and hold them to stricter politeness norms. Teachers engage boys, who correctly see disruptive speech as a marker of dominant masculinity, more often and more dynamically than girls.
  • For example, male doctors invariably interrupt patients when they speak, especially female patients but patients rarely interrupt doctors in return. Unless the doctor is a woman. When that is the case, she interrupts far less and is herself interrupted more.
  • This is also true of senior managers in the workplace. Male bosses are not frequently talked over or stopped by those working for them, especially if they are women; however, female bosses are routinely interrupted by their male subordinates.
  • As adults, women’s speech is granted less authority. We aren’t thought of as able critics or as funny.
  • Men speak moremore often, and longer than women in mixed groups (classroomsboardroomslegislative bodiesexpert media commentary and, for obvious reasons religious institutions.)
  • Indeed, in male-dominated problem solving groups including boards, committees, and legislatures, men speak 75% more than women, with negative effects on decisions reached. That’s why, as researchers summed up, “Having a seat at the table is not the same as having a voice.”
  • Even in movies and television, male actors engage in more disruptive speech and garner twice as much speaking and screen time as their female peers.
  • Listserve topics introduced by men have a much higher rate of response.
  • On Twitter, people retweet men two times as often as women.

The best part though is that we are socialized to think women talk more. Listener bias results in most people thinking that women are hogging the floor when men are actually dominating. Linguists have concluded that much of what is popularly understood about women and men being from different planets, verbally, confuses “women’s language” with “powerless language.”

This preference for what men have to say, supported by men and women both, is a variant on “mansplaining.” The word came out of an article by writer Rebecca Solnit, who explained that the tendency some men have to grant their own speech greater import than a perfectly competent woman’s is not a universal male trait, but the “intersection between overconfidence and cluelessness where some portion of that gender gets stuck.” Solnit’s tipping point experience really did take the cake. She was talking to a man at a cocktail party when he asked her what she did. She replied that she wrote books, and she described her most recent one, River of Shadows: Eadweard Muybridge and the Technological Wild West.The man interrupted her soon after she said the word Muybridge and asked, “And have you heard about the very important Muybridge book that came out this year?” He then waxed on, based on his reading of a review of the book, not even the book itself, until finally a friend said, “That’s her book.” He ignored that friend (also a woman) and she had to say it more than three times before “he went ashen” and walked away. If you are not a woman, ask any woman you know what this is like, because it is not fun and happens to all of us.

Last week as I sat in a cafe, a man in his 60s stopped to ask me what I was writing. I told him, a book about gender and media and he said, “I went to a conference where someone talked about that a few years ago. I read a paper about it a few years ago. Did you know that car manufacturers use slightly denigrating images of women to sell cars? I’d be happy to help you.” After I suggested, smiling cheerily, that the images were beyond denigrating and definitively injurious to women’s dignity, free speech, and parity in culture he drifted off

In the wake of Larry Summers’ “women can’t do math” controversy several years ago, scientist Ben Barres wrote publicly about his experiences, first as a woman and later in life, as a male. As a female student at MIT, Barbara Barres was told by a professor after solving a particularly difficult math problem, “Your boyfriend must have solved it for you.” When several years after, as Ben Barres, he gave a well-received scientific speech, he overhead a member of the audience say, “His work is much better than his sister’s.”  Most notably, he concluded that one of the major benefits of being male was that he could now “even complete a whole sentence without being interrupted by a man.”

 Really, practice those ten words

“Stop interrupting me.” 

“I just said that.”

“No explanation needed.”

 

 

malcolmjamalwarlock:

I’m really proud of this article that went up on Jezebel today. And here’s one additional (and important) thought that didn’t make it into the piece:

Women of all sizes are conditioned to believe that restriction is the ultimate virtue—we eat up the lie that conventional attractiveness is the only measure of worth; we court the indignity of being literally ranked in a perpetual fuckability draft; we dump billions of dollars into cosmetic and diet companies in exchange for their assurances that we will never be good enough; we live and die by the belief that being unhealthy and thin is better than healthy and fat. We waste our lives seeking validation from an entity that does nothing but abuse us. To indulge in a rather gimmicky analogy, I feel like I’m Crazy Eyes and diet culture is Vee.

So, after a lifetime of miserable, shame-based, demoralizing food restriction, I don’t “diet” anymore—a decision that’s done more good for my mental and physical health than any amount of therapy and lunges—and I simply can’t engage with diet talk the way “normal” women do. Literally the LAST THING I’M INTERESTED IN DOING is writing a rah-rah yay-food-restriction typical diet review. And yet I really did love a lot of things about Goop week. So it was an interesting and fraught line to walk, and I don’t know that I’ve got it 100% figured out yet.

kenobi-wan-obi:

i love to singa
about the moon-a and the june-a and the spring-a

kenobi-wan-obi:

i love to singa

about the moon-a and the june-a and the spring-a

meganamram:

This year I finally bought one of those mini souvenir Oscar statues that they sell all over Los Angeles. They’re fitted with witty, positively biting plaques such as “Best Stoner,” “Hottest Wife,” and “Coolest Cody,” (who the hell knows any cool “Codys,” let alone “Coolest”?). As truly…